This is a very trying time for all. Just listen to the news for
a few minutes and fear comes forward. All those things we are
telling ourselves about what is going to happen to us. Some
news is truth and some is fear mongering. However, we can learn
to stop and logically evaluate the facts that are available. I
would like the news people to tell us what they know as facts
and not their opinion. Listen to me – tell me facts.
Listening to oneself is an important part of being able to
listen to others. When I listen to you, I am saying you are
important to me in some way. When I STOP and listen to what I
am telling myself, I am acknowledging that I believe in my value
When I tell myself negative things about me, I will
automatically interpret what others are saying to me as
negative. I am more likely to buy into what others are saying
vs evaluating the facts. I am prone to lecturing the other
person so they will see things my way and I will feel safer.
Lecturing leads to anger if the other person does not follow our
instructions. Show me the level of your anger and I can tell
you the depth of your fear. There is a lot of fear in our world
Stop: Listen to yourself without judgment and then you can hear
others more accurately.
Remember: Survival is the bottom rung on the ladder of life - -
to survive, we have to believe we have Safety - - to have
safety, we have to believe we have Control.
With the fears surrounding us, we have doubts about our ability
to control our lives. Let’s learn to listen to what we are
telling ourselves and others. In threatening times, we can be
kind or we can be cruel to ourselves or others. Separate out
what you know to be Facts and then ask: What can I do to make
the situation healthier and more productive? Maybe I can do
nothing at the moment. Maybe my choice is to change my view (my
way of thinking) of what is happening at this moment in time.
We operate off Images – not words. Use your imagery to be
productive during this troublesome time. Use it to appreciate
yourself and your accomplishments or your plans. Move forward
with your thoughts. Listen to yourself in a positive and
respectful way and then you will be able to respectfully listen
If you do not know how to live your life more factually, then
learn Cognitive-Behavioral Skills and use them daily to make the
changes that will create the life you want for yourself and your
loved ones. A life of calmness, confidence and peace.
Remember: You get to decide how you Think – feel – Behave.
Thoughts lead to feelings that lead to Behaviors.
CHANGING IS A CHOICE.