Blog > Self Esteem Issues

Humans are naturally self-obsessed, self-judging, and other self-observations and contradictions. We think about how we present to others and if we have value in their eyes. Do we measure up to their expectations? Often, we blame ourselves or attempt to create a public image that is difficult to maintain.

Perfectionists are notably vulnerable to being hard on themselves. Becoming aware of your thinking and actions is a beginning step to self-acceptance and making the changes that you choose.

You might ask yourself: Do I beat myself up over small mistakes that have insignificant consequences. And, then I continue to criticize myself after I have corrected the mistake. Other people may be entitled to mistakes; however, I believe I am not. Do I continually put my to-do list aside to take care of projects for others? And, then I blame myself if other people criticize me because I did not live up their expectations. Do I do the extra things for others that perhaps they could do for themselves? You are the go-to person when someone has a big project. You are the “we can count on you” person. [Hint: Learn to say, “I wish I could help you; however, I am very busy and will have to pass on this one.”

Are you seeing yourself as a failure and forget to acknowledge all the things you do and your many accomplishments.

How do you think your life would be different if you began acknowledging and accepting your many helpful and caring contributions to self, family, friends, and associates? Self-appreciation is a major part of awareness and understanding of self and others. “To thine own self be true.”

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

 
How would your life be different if you believed in your value (your worth) and stopped believing what other people say about you? Take a look at yourself and decide what you appreciate about you and what you want different.

Learn to self-regulate. Self-regulation is the ability to manage your emotions and behavior in situations. We know that emotions are a direct result of our thoughts. Do you know how to manage your thoughts? Emotional maturity is an important aspect of everyday life. Mental/emotional maturity is a key to a happy and successful life.

Do you know how to teach your children to be emotionally mature? So, they will be able to assess a situation and make a wise decision. With skills your children will direct their own behavior towards a goal regardless of the unpredictability of the world and their own feelings. There are many causes of stress and frustration for ourselves and our children.

Knowing and using the skills to handle our interpretation of the event is the genesis of being calm, confident and peaceful. Then you and your children will be able to assess a situation and make a wise decision. Skills include knowing how to stop and think clearly about any situation. Then you will be calmer even with upsetting events and avoid outbursts.

Mental/emotional maturity is a key to a happy and successful life. Use these skills and stay in the present moment versus going back into history and assuming you have to be stuck there.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills and use them daily to make the changes that will create the life you want. A life of calmness, confidence and peace.

Remember: You get to decide how you Think – feel – Behave.
Thoughts lead to feelings that lead to Behaviors

CHANGING IS A CHOICE.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

 
“What you envision in your mind, how you see yourself, and how you envision the world around you is of great importance because those things become your focus.” Eric Thomas

Do you pay attention to what you are focusing on? Frequently we just go through our day completing tasks and thinking of problems to solve.

Stop for a moment and imagine a picture of who and what you focus on most often. If there was a way you could change your focus and move it toward problem solving and more productive tasks, would you do it?

How do you think your life would be different if you envisioned yourself as a worthy and wonderful person? See yourself completing the tasks you say you want to get done. One day at a time, moving forward toward a clearly defined goal. Seeing yourself accomplishing that goal.

Do you believe the world and other people are holding you back from accomplishing your goals? Who do you believe is responsible for your actions? If you unraveled the past and connected it to your present “reasoning” and behaviors, do you see how you may be holding yourself back from accomplishing your goals?

Learn Cognitive Behavioral skills to use in the present and move forward with your goals and reap the benefits of your accomplishments.

Remember: Only you can decide if you want the success that comes with living in the present moment and solving problems in real time.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

 
“Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can understand.” Colin Powell

We have many choices in life. We can argue and blame ourselves and others or we can use Skills and move forward toward our chosen goals.

Sometimes we may believe we have to prove a point or to influence someone with our perceived knowledge.

Stop – – think clearly. Can you change anyone else? You may give your opinion. You may listen to the other person’s opinion. However, each person decides what they want to believe (based on their history).

You decide how you think, feel, and behave in any situation.

Cognitive Behavioral therapy teaches you skills on how to problem solve with calmness and confidence. Stay focused on your values and your goals using your Skills.

You have the capability to learn and use skills and to offer solutions with logical decision making and calmness.

Remember: You decide how you Think, feel, and Behave.
Think clearly. Choose wisely.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

 
“You cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your present circumstances unless you change.” Les Brown

What changes do you want to make? Do you know how to make changes; i.e., have the skills to make changes? Who might help you? When do you want to begin these changes?

Stop and Think clearly and ask: What am I thinking and doing that is creating chaos in my life? Knowing that everything I think is based on my interpretation of the event.

The key is to learn the Skills to interpret any event with logical thinking as you stay in the present moment and then you can problem solve.

Learning how to Communicate Effectively, Problem Solve, and Team Play are all Skills that are needed in everyday life to be calm, confident and peaceful.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills and use them daily to make the changes that will create the life you want.

More Peace – Less Chaos…

Remember: You get to decide how you Think – feel – Behave.
Thoughts lead to feeling that lead to Behaviors.

CHANGING IS A CHOICE.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

 
“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.”
Vince Lombardi

What is your definition of success? Is it more money, more fame, more material things or …? If you had success today, how would your life be different?

Are you willing to work to obtain the success you say you want? Do you know how to begin the process to reach this success?
Who might help you reach this goal?

Sometimes you may think the work required to succeed is too overwhelming. So, begin with a decision on WHAT you want to accomplish and then decide the plans (HOW) to reach that goal.

If you want this success, you will be willing to put forth the effort to get it. Use your Cognitive Behavioral skills to help you be successful in any goal you choose.

Remember: Only you can decide if you want this success enough to put in the time and effort to reach your goal.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

 
“Surround yourself with good people. People who are going to be honest with you and look out for your best interest.” Derek Jeter

What criteria do you use to choose the people you surround yourself with? Are these people that encourage you to be the best you can be and are willing to help you (if needed) along your way? When others help you, are you willing to give back?

How do you move from a group of “friends” that are harmful for you to believing in yourself? Believing that you deserve a group of friends that are supportive of you. Friends that live a healthy and happy life.

What do you want for yourself in all areas of your life?

Use Cognitive Behavior skills to decide on a goal and make the plans to accomplish that goal. Learn how to stay the course until you have attained your desired goal.

Remember: Only you can choose for you. Choose wisely.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

 
“It is of practical value to learn to like yourself. Since you must spend so much time with yourself you might as well get some satisfaction out of the relationship.” Norman Vincent Peale

Who are you? What are your beliefs and values? What do you want for your life?

It’s important to clean out our closets of old beliefs that are getting in our way of moving forward and accomplishing the goals that we say we want.

What do you need to do to help you make a decision and act on that decision so you can move forward.

Liking oneself comes with having plans and goals and committing the time and energy to accomplish those goals
How do you decide what is important to accomplish.
How do you use your time and energy?

Learn Cognitive-Behavior skills and move forward believing in yourself. Learning to trust you. Appreciating you.

Remember: You are the one that decides your goals and your value.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

 
“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” Voltaire

How do you choose the people you believe?
Do you trust yourself to make wise decisions?
Do you know how to make wise decisions?
Do you believe people can make you believe anything?

You are the only one that decides how you think and how you feel. Thoughts lead to feelings that lead to outward behaviors. Cognitive Behavioral therapy teaches you how to problem solve with calmness and confidence.

Stay focused on your values and your goals.
Use your Cognitive Behavioral Skills to focus on the Facts;
live in the Now; and make Wise Decisions.

You have the capability to learn skills and to use those skills to create a healthier and happier life for yourself.

You decide how you think, feel, and behave.
Remember: This is YOUR LIFE.
Choose wisely.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work