Life Skills Unlimited

Lisa H. Lang, Ph.D.

110 Red Oak Lane
Flower Mound, TX 75028

Thoughts lead to
Feelings lead to

“I think, therefore I feel.”

listen vs lecture

Licensed Professional Counselor
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapist
Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist

This is a very trying time for all. Just listen to the news for a few minutes and fear comes forward. All those things we are telling ourselves about what is going to happen to us. Some news is truth and some is fear mongering.

However, we can learn to stop and logically evaluate the facts that are available. I would like the news people to tell us what they know as facts and not their opinion. Listen to me – tell me facts.

Listening to oneself is an important part of being able to listen to others. When I listen to you, I am saying you are important to me in some way. When I STOP and listen to what I am telling myself, I am acknowledging that I believe in my value (my worth).

When I tell myself negative things about me, I will automatically interpret what others are saying to me as negative. I am more likely to buy into what others are saying vs evaluating the facts. I am prone to lecturing the other person so they will see things my way and I will feel safer.

Lecturing leads to anger if the other person does not follow our instructions. Show me the level of your anger and I can tell you the depth of your fear. There is a lot of fear in our world today.

Stop: Listen to yourself without judgment and then you can hear others more accurately.

Remember: Survival is the bottom rung on the ladder of life – –
to survive, we have to believe we have Safety – – to have safety,
we have to believe we have Control.

With the fears surrounding us, we have doubts about our ability to control our lives. Let’s learn to listen to what we are telling ourselves and others. In threatening times, we can be kind or we can be cruel to ourselves or others. Separate out what you know to be Facts and then ask: What can I do to make the situation healthier and more productive? Maybe I can do nothing at the moment. Maybe my choice is to change my view (my way of thinking) of what is happening at this moment in time.

We operate using Images – not words. Use your imagery to be productive during this troublesome time. Use it to appreciate yourself and your accomplishments or your plans. Move forward with your thoughts. Listen to yourself in a positive and respectful way and then you will be able to respectfully listen to others.

If you do not know how to live your life more factually, then learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills and use them daily to make the changes that will create the life you want for yourself and your loved ones. A life of calmness, confidence and peace.

Remember: You get to decide how you Think – feel – Behave.
Thoughts lead to feelings that lead to Behaviors.


Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

For more counseling information:

Life Skills Unlimited
110 Red Oak Lane
Flower Mound, TX 75028
© 2024 Life Skills Unlimited & Dr. Lisa H. Lang, PhD. All Rights Reserved.

Lisa H. Lang Ph.D. is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) & marriage and family therapist (LMFT) located in Flower Mound, TX with over 25 years’ experience. She is a Certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapist and life coach offering psychotherapy, hypnosis, and other solutions to those seeking counseling. Dr. Lang is conveniently located to residents of Flower Mound, Lewisville, Carrollton, Southlake, Grapevine, Coppell, and the Dallas/Fort Worth area.