Boundaries are established when a person sets a limit that defines them as separate from others. This boundary may be in personal or professional relationships. It may be a mental/emotional boundary or a physical boundary. Deciding how you allow another person to talk to or with you may be a mental/emotional boundary. A physical boundary may be requiring someone to ask permission before they use your belongings.
There may be obstacles in setting boundaries at home or in a work situation. One of the biggest obstacles is being doubtful about your rights and refusing to declare limitations with others. Accept that boundaries are limits you have set and established for yourself. You believe that you are deserving of respectful interaction with others. You begin to demonstrate these boundaries by your communication and actions.
Think about what is important/significant to you and how you would behave in a particular situation. Remember – be willing to give in a respectful way what you are asking from others. For example: You are accustomed to raising your voice when you are upset versus calming yourself and then talking through a situation. If you are asking someone to speak kindly and directly to you, then you are obligated to do the same for them.
You may begin by writing down your boundaries and evaluating each one to determine if it is essential or if is just wishful thinking – you would prefer them to do it your way. In other words, what are your top priorities. Begin with writing the top ten priorities and then choose the three that are most important now and begin with establishing those three.
Boundaries are essential for achieving harmony and completing tasks at home and at work. When boundaries are established, each person knows they have an interest in what is being accomplished. When boundaries are established that benefit self and others, there will be more peace and harmony and accomplishments that benefit all.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is helpful in learning to validate and appreciate self and others. Learning and using skills that help you set boundaries in all areas of your life as you move forward and accomplish your goals.
Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work