If I continue to behave the same old way – the other person will behave the same old way. Ask: What changes do I want? Then begin to act “as if” those changes have occurred. Act/behave the way you want things to be. Remember: I teach people how to treat me. If I go on and allow toxic actions toward me, the toxic person will continue with that destructive behavior.
Family members are a unit that has common experiences. Each member may have different goals and expectations. If each family member is respectful of the others, the unit is more likely to survive in a healthy way.
What each member does affects others – especially people that we share a living space with and we say we love and care about their welfare. Consider your actions before selfishly doing things that are destructive for self and others. We all contribute to the peace and health of a family unit – parents and children contribute.
You may think that your daily habits of drinking alcohol, smoking, eating junk, yelling, blaming, spending,… effects only you – STOP – think clearly. See and acknowledge the other people that are a significant part of your life. How are your behaviors affecting them?
Imagine a wheel with spokes and see how all the spokes hold the wheel together – that’s how units work. Each part of the unit effects the other parts. We know that we do not make other people do things; however, we influence each other’s behaviors – just like the spokes of that wheel.
Change your behaviors to be healthier; mentally and physically. Demonstrate caring for self and others in the way you behave in all areas of your life. Just saying I care about you is not enough. Actions speak louder than words.
You may feel wounded from your childhood and now you have an opportunity to correct what you believe others messed up. Use this opportunity wisely. There may be fewer opportunities in the future. Treat yourself and others the way you would want your best friend to be treated. Begin NOW to appreciate self & others you say you care about.
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