Blog > Stress Management

Stress is an emotional response based on a mental interpretation of an event. Living in the past creates stress. Think in terms of NOW and what I am capable of doing to change the situation to be more calming and productive. Evaluate the situation using facts vs emotions.

Ask: What have I done in the past that was helpful in a similar situation and how can I use that information in the present? What can I do now to turn this into an opportunity vs stressing about what I cannot do? Who may be able to help me solve this issue? How can I organize my thoughts and behaviors to solve this problem?

Now, you are moving from being stuck in the past to problem solving in the present moment. Sometimes it may be frightening to think “I have to move forward.”; however, you may consider all the capabilities you have now and how you may use them in this situation. Sometimes we have thoughts of failure when faced with a new and demanding decision.

STOP – look at the Facts; evaluate the situation based on your desired outcome. Often we have more choices and capabilities than we thought. Stress is inevitable; however, we have choices of how we interpret any event. We can lessen the magnitude of the stress. Stress is an emotion. Stop and think clearly.

Remember: Thoughts lead to feeling that lead to behaviors.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

 
“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” Emily Post

What is your basic belief about people? Do you think humans are basically kind or just a bunch of jerks? How do you use that basic belief to live your life on a daily basis?

How do you manage your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors when you allow yourself to become frustrated with someone’s behavior? Do you stop and think through the event and ask: “What is the main event in this situation?” “What did that person actually do?” “What did I do?” “What could I have done differently?” That does not mean you are responsible for the other person’s behavior. You are accountable only for your actions.

Do you know how to manage stress and sometimes simply accept frustration and distress? Perhaps there was nothing you could have done differently.

Remember: Self-control, determination, and resilience is your key to self-regulation. Learn the Skills to: Communicate Effectively, Problem Solve, and Team Play. Cognitive Behavioral skills to deal with the stress so you can be kind and calm with your responses. Skills that we all need to live healthier and happier.

Kindness, politeness, manners do not cost a penny; rudeness, offensiveness, nastiness will cost you a lot.

Remember: You get to decide how you Think – feel – Behave.

Thoughts lead to feelings that lead to Behaviors.

CHANGING IS A CHOICE.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

 
“Deal With” vs “Dwell On”

How do you deal with what you believe is a problem? Do you dwell on the issue and continue to think in circles? That’s obsessing vs problem solving.

What process, skills, do you use to evaluate any situation so you can make a wise decision? Have you gathered all the facts that are available to you about the situation/event?

Do you look at this event/situation with clear thinking in the present moment? A similar situation may have happened in the past and you are thinking the results will be the same this time. Just because something happened in the past does not necessarily mean it will happen again this time.

Use your Cognitive Behavioral skills. Gather facts using Reflect and Ask method.

Learn to Problem Solve vs assuming. Learn to be calm, confident and peaceful to achieve the results you think are most helpful.

Remember: You have a say in this decision. Use appropriate and helpful skills to reach a factual and wise solution. You Decide.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work

 
“Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are.” Norman Vincent Peale

How do you sort out facts from fiction?
What process do you use to help you view your world more clearly and make wise decisions?

Are you using Cognitive Behavioral skills to stay in the present moment and make wise decisions?

Living in the Past is detrimental. Use your past to motivate you; not hold you back.

Look at the current event/facts and ask:

What is the real issue?
What can I do about this issue?
(Maybe I can do nothing or little that is helpful.)
How may I think of this event/issue differently?
(in a more factual way)
Who might be able to help me sort out this issue?
(maybe there is another view)

Remember: I get to Decide how I Think, feel, and Behave.

Learn Cognitive Behavioral Skills to:
Communicate Effectively
Problem Solve
Team Play/Work